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  CRACK THE CODE - January 26, 2007 It’s no secret that Hockey Spy.com is totally against the new fangled uniforms the NHL introduced in the all star game last night. To be honest the look of the sweaters wasn’t as tight as I had feared, but the bottom edge of the sweaters looked like someone didn’t have time to finish making it. And the ugly stripes and colour patterns look like someone just threw a bunch of stray cloth pieces together. If this is the style all 30 teams are going with next year we have a big problem. The pants were by far the worst. They looked like they were too droopy and that they were missing any defined form. As usual we have taken the comments from various NHL types and cracked the code of what they really meant to say: "The focus on this was never about fashion, it was never about retail," Bettman told The Canadian Press on Thursday. "It was about getting the players into a uniform that would be better, that would enable them to have a better range of motion, that would keep them cooler, that would be more aerodynamically fit, that would keep their protective equipment in place, that would be safer. That has been the focus." Hockey Spy.com translation: “The focus on this was never about fashion. It was always about making lots of money.” "I think there was a lot of speculation and I think a bit much prognosticating on things that people really didn't know about," said Bettman. "But you know, that's OK, it created a lot of interest. The fact of the matter is, this was a very slow and pain-staking process with the goal to get it right." Hockey Spy.com translation: “I think there was a lot of speculation and prognosticating about how much we can gouge the public for. The fact of the matter is, this was a very slow and pain-staking process to figure out how much of a cash grab we could get away with.” "One of the players was saying, `You won't feel like you're carrying 10 pounds on your back.' That's exactly right," said Bettman. "And it'll keep body temperatures four to 10 degrees lower. The point is guys will be less fatigued at the end of the game." Hockey Spy.com translation: “You won’t feel like you’re carrying 10 dollars in your wallet because we will have soaked you for your last dollar. The increased revenues will keep our owner’s body temperatures four to 10 degrees lower. The point is guys will pretend they are less fatigued at the end of the game, because we have cut them in on the profits too.” "Will I be wearing them? No," Bettman laughed. "I assure you that they will look better on any of the players than they will look on me." “Will I be wearing them? I wouldn’t be caught dead in those ridiculous things. I assure you that they will look every bit as stupid on the players as they would look on me.” |
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