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J O K E   &   D A G G E R - February 26, 2007 Anatomy of a Trade Hockey Spy.com has tapped into some GM phone lines to eavesdrop on how a typical trade is consummated: G.M. #1: I’ll give you Smith for Jones, straight up. G.M. #2: No chance. G.M. #1: Smith has more points. G.M. #2: Smith has 40 points in 60 games. Jones has 30 points in 20 games. G.M. #1: It’s not my fault Jones is injury prone. I’ll take him off your hands anyway. G.M. #2: He played 897 straight games before being hurt this year. G.M. #1: Proves my point. Always hurt. But I’m willing to take a chance anyway. G.M. #2: His shot has been timed at over 100 miles per hour. G.M. #1: So he can’t shoot. I’ll look past that. G.M. #2: Last year he scored 122 goals. G.M. #1: So he has hands of stone. I’ll use him to penalty kill. G.M. #2: I don’t think you are listening. Does your train of thought have a caboose? G.M. #1: How about this Junkins guy I’m offering around. He rarely takes a penalty. G.M. #2: He’s your back up goalie. G.M. #1: He could be a number one goalie. G.M. #2: Only if you change his sweater number. G.M. #1: He’s never been beat to the glove side. G.M. #2: He’s never played a game yet. Give me Kirk and you can have Jones. G.M. #1: Kirk is injured right now. He hurt his feelings last game. G.M. #2: I’ve heard from a very reliable source that Kirk wants out anyway. G.M. #1 You talked to his agent? G.M. #2: No, I heard this from my wife’s cousin’s brother. G.M. #1: How would he know? G.M. #2: Kirk is my wife’s cousin’s brother. G.M. #1: Means nothing. He won’t be the first guy who wanted out. G.M. #2: I won’t take Smith or Junkins for Jones. And you won’t give me Kirk. How about Nelson. Would you give me Nelson for Jones? G.M. #1: Not likely. He’s a great player. Not too bright though. He once called the operator to get the phone number for 911. G.M. #2: That’s ok with me. Give me Nelson. G.M. #1: He doesn’t want to upset his wife. G.M. #2: I was told he was happily married. G.M. #1: He is happily married. But his wife isn’t. G.M. #2: I gotta make a trade. My owner is furious with me. G.M. #1: How can you be sure? G.M. #2: This morning he told me I was going to go far in this sport. G.M. #1: What’s wrong with that? G.M. #2: He also said the farther from him the better. G.M. #1: You could always come and work for me. G.M. #2: Sounds like a good idea G.M. #1: I’ll go back to my first offer. Smith for Jones. G.M. #2: Deal

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