|
|
|
HockeySpy.com |
        |
  J O K E & D A G G E R - March 26, 2007 There was a time when people thought the world was flat. There was a time when people thought the moon was made of cheese. And there was a time when only North Americans and Europeans played in the NHL. But Hockey Spy.com has unique powers that allowed one of our agents to get an advance look at a report on the NHL all-star team of 2027, 20 years before it's actually written: NHL ALL STAR GAME 2027 by Larry "Rocket" Shipp Hockey Writer Solar System News The NHL all star game takes place this weekend in the beautiful new complex just built in Greenville, Mars. It's quite a mixed bag this year with 4 Earthlings, 3 Martians, 3 Plutonians, and 2 Jupitorites named to the first and second all star teams. Here on Earth aging veteran Sidney Crosby made the all star team for the 20th straight season. And his young son Bing Crosby was the only rookie to make the squad this year. Bing has dual citizenship as his dad was born on Earth while his mom is a native of Mercury. This father and son tandem may eventually be ranked ahead of the famous Gordie Howe/Mark Howe/Marty Howe trioka. Also named to the Earth contingent was the suprise selection of 7 year old Veri Young who started the year in minor-novice hockey and made his way to the show by late November. Some fans were concerned that young Young might be exposed to adult situations that would be inappropriate for a kid his age, but that didn't seem to concern his parents. "He was already drinking a six pack of beer most days at home, and has been happily married for two years now, so we think he can play with the older guys without any long term effects," said his mother. After the strong year the Martian team had it's no real surprise that they had 3 of their players on the all star squad. The most impressive of those 3 was defenceman Jan Tenna. He is as mobile as they come and drew great respect from players around the league. As one coach put it "that little green bastard is almost impossible to catch once he gets going. I remember seeing him play against the team from Saturn. He was skating rings around them." He was going to sign with Pluto, but their entire franchise is shaky at best. Pluto fan support has never been the same since they lost their status as an official planet. It's twice as hard to draw players to play in such a non-traditional hockey market. There's just something different about them. Oh, I know the extra eye in the back of their head makes them all good playmakers, but it's more than that. Jupiter coach George Jetson was thrilled to see some of his players named to the all star team. "Our dog Astro was the most excited. He's a big hockey fan. My wife Jane bet me 3 asteroid rocks that this would happen. This is one bet I'm glad to pay off." NHL Commissioner Spock simply raised a single eyebrow when asked about the new additions to this year's team. "Things have been pointing that way for some time now" he said as he scratched one of his pointed ears. I look forward to the day when we will also see Vulcans and Clingons added to this annual classic too." Don't hold your breath waiting for that to happen. The top Vulcan players prefer to play in the VHL (Vulcan Hockey League) which allows use of the death grip when battling for pucks in the corners. The death grip has been banned by the NHL for several years now as it was felt the Earthlings were at a disadvantage, because they can't execute it. The Earthlings still prefer to smash their sticks over opponents heads when angered. Call us old fashioned but we tend to agree this is a better way to go. As was the case last year, the all star game will be broadcast throughout the galaxy on the Universe network with the reincarnated Foster Hewitt calling the game. |
|
| All written content is property of HockeySpy.com Email any questions, corrections, documents or feedback to our webmaster. © 2006-2007 |