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  J O K E & D A G G E R - December 4, 2006 The first question hockey players face upon their arrival is rather simple. What team did you play for? When former Detroit goalie Terry Sawchuk arrived at the pearly gates he identified himself as a former Red Wing. “No red wings around here,” said St. Peter. “But there’s no shortage of white wings.” One thing St. Peter has to point out to all new arrivals in Hockey Heaven, is that they have to do their own negotiating. Agents are not allowed. After all there never has been a lawyer in heaven. “Well I hope that NHL owners are allowed,” said Sawchuk. “I’d love to see Leaf owner Harold Ballard one more time.” “Most of the owners are allowed,” explained St. Peter. “But New Jersey owner John McMullen is not. No Devils allowed here for obvious reasons.” St. Peter then handed Sawchuk a binder of information that was put together to help him find his way around. Sawchuk noticed there was an arena on the map of heaven. “Yes, we call it Halo Hall” said St. Peter. “It has everything a normal rink has with one exception. There’s no penalty box. No need for a sin bin up here.” St. Peter went on to urge Sawchuk to consider playing goal for Team God. “We take on Team Devil every year. Obviously they have some nasty guys on their team. Last year we travelled down to hell to play the game in their rink. Needless to say the ice was awful. Damn near melted. We totally outplayed them but got burned badly by the refs. It wasn’t a total waste of time. Their cheerleaders were real hot.” “Our rink is much nicer. Great ice. Big crowds. Guardian angels keep on eye on your seat for you. Even God has season tickets. Needless to say our coach has a lot of pressure on him to win. He made that perfectly clear to the team at practice yesterday. Some of the guys were getting sloppy during the shooting drills. “For Christ’s sake hit the net” he yelled. “Team Devil pays their players a lot of money if they beat us “ said St. Peter. “They have some new sinner coming in soon to run their Players Association down there. Some guy named Eagleson.” St. Peter then handed Sawchuk his room key. Room 8. “God decided to give you the same room number as Rocket Richard. After all he’s had your number for years.” “Oh and one other thing” said St. Peter as he handed Sawchuk a wrapped package. “God wants you all to have a personal copy of the big book.” “You mean the Bible? ” asked Sawchuk. “No……..the Hockey News” he was told. |
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