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  J O K E & D A G G E R - December 11, 2006 Twas the night before Christmas And all through Bettman’s house Not a team owner had noticed That he looks like a mouse The helmets were hung By the crossbar with care In hopes that mandatory visors Would some day be there That is the wish Of the Prez we call Gary Too bad the real boss Is a guy named Don Cherry The goalies were nestled All snug in their nets While some guy named Tochett Took all their bets While visions of shutouts Danced in their heads They needed the bonus To pay back the feds While owners sell sweaters As well as team caps The coaches are drawing up Neutral zone traps When what to my wandering Eyes should appear A small plastic cup Filled with $9.00 beer When out on the ice Arose such a clatter I jumped from my seat To see what’s the matter Right up the boards He flew like a flash The Habs had signed Santa He needed the cash He weaved with the puck Made tracks through the snow Faked to the left then Went five hole down low The new rules mean Players be lively and quick The perfect scenario For the speedy St. Nick More rapid than eagles His wingers they came He whistled and shouted And called them by name Now Koivu, Now Higgins, Now Johnson and Ryder Come Kovalev, Come Souray And Downey the fighter He was dressed all in fur From his head to his foot Like Gretzky he knew Where the puck should be put And bundle of passes From behind his back His vision was better Than most of the pack His eyes how they twinkled His dimples so merry He cheeks were like roses Defencemen were wary He had a broad face And a little round belly That shook when he deked Like a bowlful of jelly He was chubby and plump A right jolly old elf I laughed when I saw him Beat Brodeur top shelf A wink of his eye A twist of his head He had a new move Defencemen would dread He spoke not a word But went straight to work I thought I heard him mutter That the ref was a jerk He fled to his sleigh Upon the last whistle And away they all flew Like the down of a thistle But I heard him explain Ere he drove out of sight Merry shootout to all And to all a good night. |
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